part 2: The Return of the Jedi

The rich brat with his gay partner arrived. Robin. Such gayness. What a naughty bat..

Cont...

.. Batman in his batmobile, and robin, on his unicorn. (it was a gift from batman.. In his heart, Robin wished for a pony tho)
It was dark at night (Yes, it is) and Batman knew this all too well. He hid in the darkness, tossing his Baurikens (bat-shurikens) at me. What a wuss.
Luckily, his "partner" was wearing his new christmas present: A costume made from neon green, fluorescent yellow and glowing red cloth. And of course, as useless as he is, cling to Batman like the gayboi he is.

I was distracted by Robin trying to mount his unicorn. (by mount i mean "get up on" ) thus causing the failed evasion of a bauriken. I was pissed. I walked over to Robin. Stabbed the unicorn and then proceeded to mock his costume on my megaphone. U know metrosexual men and their attire. As expected, he broke down and cried. Batman, distressed, came out of the shadows to comfort his comrade. *stab* Win.

Now... at this point u might wonder.. "where is the truth?"... soon my faithful readers.. soon...
As the 2 cops froze at the sight of their superheroes' prompt downfall, i went back in my car. Start my engine. Waved and drove back...

BUT THEN...

A huge boulder flew out of nowhere n smashed my car... Luckily i wore my safety belt and was totally unscratched. Yes. Advertisements are true. Wear ur damn belts.
It was the Xmen. Dada da da da dum. Dada da da da daa! DA DUM!

Cyclops- the one eye giant. (who hurled the boulder)
Wolverine- half-wolf, half-tamarind
Storm - Halle Berry
Nightcrawler- Human cockroach with german accent
Iceman (self explanatory)
and of course
Prof X- the psychic pervert. That wheelchair is a disguise so people take pity on him and hides his true motives well. Who would accuse a handicap?


5 against 1. Looks like a downhill battle for the Jedi. They entered the scene with a bang. Their theme music was playing in the background. Matching costumes.
I knew i was done for.
But wait. If they have "backup", why wouldnt i?
I CALL MY BAND OF HELPERS.

I shall state their name along with their ability

Angelicassie : Super strength and can make hair-standing chilling sounds. (of "bats" and such... )
Nirmzor : Survival skills (hunt, run, climb) as well as immune to cold.
She.IS.reen: Sarcasm that can confuse and destroy


I............... this is sad... i think im going to sleep now... im sick.. i have a sore throat..
ill just end here..

Angelicassie took on cyclops with her strength and made sounds which made the Xmen squirm.
Nirmzor took on iceman with spaghetti strap and said "no.. not cold also"
She.IS.reen praised the German cockroach's English... "O YES. THATS G-R-E-A-T ENGLISH ALL RIGHT.FREAKIN A! " Poor soul..


Prof X is a perv and Storm is Halle Berry. Solved.


Truth: No i did NOT bribe the cop AGAIN like someone asked. People learn from their mistakes. They keep playing the intimidation card (ask ic, tell me im P. Tell me fine is RM300 and ask the friend to write down number plate) and ask me "Macam mana u mahu tolong saya?" "U bagitau macam mana u boleh tolong?" "Saya belum saman lagi.. Mcam mana mau tolong?"

First i gave excuses, coz the stupid traffic light infront of my house is always spoilt and i assumed it was spoiled. I truly thought it was. But excuses didnt work coz he said "U bagitau itu kepada hakim kat makhamah". They were quite "badass".. lol.. I was tempted for like 3 secs, but then i BRIBED ONCE IN MY LIFE (rm20) AND FELT LIKE SHIT AFTER THAT AND SWORE NVR TO DO THAT AGAIN.
i ask him "how much demerit points?" he said 1/2 b4 P batal. Then intimidate,stall,etc.
I apologize for running the light and said "saya tak boleh tolong la.. maaf"
Cops : Kenapa tak boleh tolong?
me : Betul2 tak boleh tolong.. sorry la.. Kamu maafkan saya saja la.. sudah lewat malam.. student saja
Cops: Buat salah kena ada balasan.. RM300 tau.. Boleh bayar ka student? I belum saman lagi tau...
me: Tak boleh tolong la boss.. betul2 tak boleh.. Tapi tak perlu saman la... (lol) Sorry ya..

Repeat that like 3-4 times, with variation. Literally. U dont know how many times i said "tak boleh tolong"
Maybe bcoz they see i going into the golf club so they thought can get some dough.

Then after like i was quite tired already and just didnt care if he saman me or not. I just said "Saya tak ada duit la boss.." Then i took out my wallet and say "u tak percaya u tengok la.."
OF COZ i knew they wouldnt check.. that would be like.. saying "I AM A TERRIBLE COP"... where got cop check ur wallet to see how much money u have.. lol...
He and his friend diliberated for awhile.. then 1 guy said "Kami bukan mau duit pon.. tak mau duit.. u buat salah...etc"
Then i just say sorry tp tak boleh tolong.. and kept quiet. <-- tired already.
The guy said... "ok lah.. i pon kesian saman u lesen P.."
"terima kasihx2!" "Gnite!" "Merry Christmas!" "tq tq"
"U Christian ka?"
"Ya"
"ok ok.. *gestures for me to leave"

Booyah.. I thank God for his mercy~ :D

And THAT is my Christmas story. lol.