I saw someone getting told he had metastatic cancer, and that it wasnt curable (but can be treated to prolong life)

I saw the family, 3 generations present. Tight family, he was the only guy in the family. old guy. I suspect the father of his grandchild divorced or died, or the grandchild born out of wedlock.
They had contorted upset expressions, trying to hold in their tears. They were in the room crying. The doctor left to consult someone..and there I was....I wanted to leave too.

I learned something about myself that day, or reminded.

The way I cope with things is by escaping. Usually in the mind, but sometimes physically.


Another word for 'escaping' is 'running away'.

I feel my insides churning, both mind and body exhausted. this uncomfortable feeling is liken to one of break ups... The unsettling feeling of knowing its over, before its over. Its your mind preemptively preparing you for some things.

I cant help but feel like a selfish comfort worshiping person. Its funny how I can make a decision that is in the distant future which will seemingly be even more difficult than this... but then at this, ARGH. Am I deluded?

Its so much easier just not to be put in this position in the 1st place. And from the get go, i never felt I was up for it... but my prideful self also thought "im not that bad lah.. can make it"


WTH MANNNNNNNNNNNN! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.. frustrated with the situation..

ignorance IS bliss, but ignorance is the suppression of truth.

"Kxxxxxxx Cxxxx
Say wert???! Bear Grylls speaking at Hillsong this Sat?"

Whaaat.... -_-"


haha