when u have exams..

... u procrastinate.
it is human nature,
inevitable.
Similar to how humans, throughout their lives, have tried licking their elbows, or maybe even drink from the far side of the cup.
why?
As likely as it is curiosity, it its also the inability to comprehend that simple things (of the above) cannot be done by them. "I HAVE TRAVELLED TO THE MOON AND BACK" said the human race.
"but u cant lick ur elbows" said the orang utan.








So then, why did u TRY to lick ur elbows? for those who have never tried before, yes, i give u the benefit of the doubt and say "curiosity was ur reason."
then what about those who have done this b4. Did YOU try to lick ur elbow again? Despite prior experience of failure?
it is because of PRIDE! U REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE FACT. ITS SO NEAR.
I. CAN. REACH. IT.
no u cant.

try it.


so close.... yet so far. *sinister laugh*

my point. i only blog to procrastinate. among other procrastination techniques during exams are:-

drawing comic strips as such below. (click to enlarge)




ok.. im not leonardo da vinci. But i think im close.
actulaly im just too lazy to blog lately. too much things to do. will be busy whole of next week.
sorry for the random filler. Just ddint want the old bday post to be up front so long.

English was originally chinese

Its really late and its been such a long day but i had to wish miss england A IS VERY HAPPYNESS 'N' BLESSID BERRtDATE!!! I is hope u have many funs momentums and greats joyness and fulfilsmenting todays. U amS BOMB! Ur name middle is got 1 cold 1. Shereen-cool-asha, the world might say u are old, society might say u are growing frail and weak. But i know ull stare them straight in the eye and say, "i wish i could roll my eyes. Too bad all those years of rolling my eyes back in college damaged my eye-muscles. (ud think a medical student wouldnt use terms like eye-muscle. well. ure wrong) how i regret THOSE GOOD OLE DAYS." :p

Please click the above for larger image
Drawings bit shabby, esp the stickman looks like i had parkinsons. Looks good from afar tho. Looks like a perfect kick on the spine. YEAH~

also i realised i clogged up ur "card" too much so below is the main point.

subtle '2' '0' see it? tadahhh~

The early bird gets the worm, but the 2nd rat gets the cheese.
Hope u continue to trust in God and His guidance for u :) Happpy Birthday Shereen Asha!

green is the colour of ketupat :p

I realised i havent blog in awhile. And i realised after exams, i blog less, showing the correlation of blogging and procrastinating :p
also i didnt have much to blog about. I think.
BUT. TODAY. THERE. IS. A. REASON. TO. BLOG.

COZ ITS SUE WERNS BIRTHDAYYY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY WERNDO! :p

Hope u like the picture i drew. lol. cool leh! i am damn skills la. Shud have put swuopu tho. too late!

Ive known sue wern for like a gazillion years la. One of those childhood friends type. But those that I remember and cherish sorts. (not like some kindi friends from when i was 3. Infact. i cant remember anybody i knew at the age of 3. Tadika Eden. lol. heck. selective memory)
Anyway, wont say much but...

In the spirit of tradition, a birthday song for u (despite having some mental block the past week :( )

Happy Birthday to sue,
Favourite colour is BLUE,
You are old jor dear WerndU, (no choice)
Now can eat dried Jambu...


all i could think of was Two, bamboo, shoe, glue, tattoo, and hantu and jambu. seriously. (2 of 6 was in sight) this is excluding words with i forcefully put a U behind (eg. mangU) and words like Coo! (like cool, but without the l)


U r my tai kah ceh & friend,
u gave me a file of chords, when i was 10. (not really. 17~18)
(which i didnt do such a good job at adding to OR maintain for that matter. sorry! lol :p)


during worship team days,
u do all the organization crap,
while i AMs eatS teh crab :D

sensible & discipline,
damn power and skills,
you give 'Tims' the chills.


Thanks for the prayers, encouragement and support all these years. Hope u continue to live under and for Him, and He will definately see you through! :)

Happy Birthday Wern! See u end year or something.

My favourite hero is superman.

unfair and bias

i think this blog as been pretty unfair and bias when discussing about girls. I apologize and would like to clarify that most of the time, i am stereotyping girls based on certain people. My apologies goes to those who are independent, strong, and un-whiny. and to those who are mature, intelligent and humble. also to those who are smart, witty and composed.

malas meng-blog. *yawns*

if a chord was to describe me at the moment, it would be a discordant minor.

Audacity

also ive just been introduced this cool new program called Audacity. Its FREE. so u dont have to download it illegally. Or to the girls, you dont have to ask your guy friends to illegally download it for you. (lol. i KNOW u do it.)
It basically records sounds and allows you to layer them easily. It is also the cause of my room still being in a post-exam mess. Ive spent saturday about 1-2 hours playing with it! And below is what i am willing to post. its like 20 secs? but it took me a good 45minutes of fiddling ok!! i think. ok.. 30m... i was doing it playing guitar on the bed.

as soon as i wrote that i knew that i had to do this. *insert strike above*
enjoy JAMLOL. audacity test 1.

ps- i dont know where the built-in mic on my laptop is so i just put my laptop real near. lol. and sorry for the loud ambient noise.

Post exam obligatory blogpost.

REALLY LONG POST. I doubt ud get through it. seriously.

Hey fellow readers- (i count roughly 8 readers but lately ive rediscovered a few others whom ive given the "privilege" of knowing the existence of this blog.

I havent been blogging lately because of exams.. and since ive finish exams 3 days ago, even less reason to blog. You see, blogging is an excuse to not study under the pretense of "updating friends". For me, blogging means much more than updating you guys. Because clearly, you arent gonna get much of my life from a crossbreed of a giraffe and a hippo, except maybe gather that i might be mentally ill.

People have told me awarded this blog the following comments:
"the most random blog ive ever read. HAHAHAHA"
"you are damn random. HAHAHA"
"did u draw that urself? hahahah"
"Are u actually schizophrenic? hahaha. jk. its therapeutic <--trying to salvage the hurt he has cost"

Based on all those comments, even tho i have blogged about this countless of times, i still struggle between writing something that is worth reading, that actually teaches you something, as oppose to something just entertaining. (But this is the 1st time im doing it with my eyes closed and on my bed)

Also, my laptop is on my lap. U know whats the irony of this? let me explain. A laptop is called a laptop because its suppose to be on TOP of your LAP, right? well, with the amount of heat this thing gives out, i can assure you that laptop is also synonymous with "Decrease sperm count". I have been warned that heat does evil things to family generations. Why then call it "laptop" when putting it on your lap either gives u cramps, kills potential babies (ethics alert!), or cause focal burns on your skin?


While we're at it, why call it pen knife? do you put it with your pen? (i was going to draw this but im kinda sleepy)

"Anybody has a pen?"
"here.. ive got one.." *stabs* "ah crap.. wrong side"

(downward spiral of nonsensical rambling begins!!)


REAL UPDATE. well, now exams. Exams was pretty alright. Ok, im not saying ill do great. I know i wont. But i am ok with it. PRAISE THE LORD! =) (altho results isnt out yet =p) a few ppl texted me and it was just comforting. Bcoz compared to the mega horrendous previous exam, (ie. the worse exam ive even done in my entire life) this was ok. Just that i was pretty short of time... and for abour 2 minutes i thought the elbow was the leg. (you have no idea....) i must say that despite not having enough time, wanting to pee but unable too, not being able to answer anatomy, and being scolded in the exam hall with the mic, I AM GLAD. because it is over. Thanks for whoever was praying/prayed for me? yea. thanks. i will slowly do better in exams to come, i hope. =| Oh btw, class starts tomorrow. Essentially only 1 day holiday, making it a long weekend. Sucks right? i sad. but i have a week off inbetween the next course to compensate.

I had so much to write actually but i can barely remember. There's so much stuff going on in my mind. You know, real life issues. Things i actually have to deliberate and handle?? Just that i cant tell you EVERYTHING. Right or not machine? can tell everything or not? will have repercussions right? =p

Few things to note,
1. Im coming back 5th Dec.
2. I want to go Vietnam or Bangkok. Anybody up for it?
3. I want to go diving. esp sabah. DAMN YOU BEN!! FFK ME!
4. I went to hillsongs church after going to FOCUS for such a long time and realised how much i appreciate proper sermons from the bible. learn so much more. and much more "solid" too.
5. I enjoy playing the guitar but not improving. Strive to be good enough to busk by end of 6th year. Busking for extra $$$. not.
6. I went to Royal Botanical Garden and FORGOT TO BRING MY CAMERA!! RAHLAHSKJFHKJAS!!!!
it was so so so so so so beautiful!!!! crap! its where the river meets the ocean (muara sungai) and there's even a waterfall. Man.. if i had a date... id bring her there. lol. oh n i kayak-ed till my arms abit pain. basket. ill show "her" (my date-to-be) my super skills by attacking a bush with my kayak.... (crashing into 1 made someone shouted. it was a "LOL" moment :D~ )

Speaking of dates, im at a phase where im totally indifferent to the whole idea. WHY?!!!! Like, you know how some guys aim in life is to get a girl or something? its suppose to be innate. well... not me...(not now at least =p) I find it weird.. may be due to trauma.. i wont elaborate on this further in fear or spies...haha.. i have my theories.. lol... MEH. SIEN LA! GIRLS. ALL THEY DO IS WHINE! *whinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhine*

please put down your cleavers and knives. im kidding...(they say blue is a calming colour) life as a guy would be terrible without girls, just as how girls' lives would be dull without guys. nobody to pamper you, to treat you "just because we're FRIENDS" (its called trying to WOO you from a different approach =p)

I think because im so tired that my 2nd half of the post is becoming pretty borring. also because mentally, i am concerned about my waist below baking to death.(by laptop). Ill end it on a nicer side.

Jordan sent:
haha. ur schizoside appeared and told u that?

If you see this person, initiate stabbing motion with whatever you have in your hands, be it sharp or blunt.
Bruises and cuts are welcome.

haha jk. He's my good friend here in Australia.. we are going to start a band and take the world by storm. Heard of Che Guevara? (SLOTH! remember that movie we watched that was suppose to kick HEAVY ass?! n.. u fell asleep?.. THAT movie.)

Unlike good blogs, all im going to leave you is this:


You want humour injected in everything i write?? HAH! Id rather inject your face!! with happiness~ :p
In relation to the beginning of this post, the reason i entrust u to reading this crap is because i know you know me well enough to know i am indeed not injecting myself with illeagal substance prior to blogging.
sorry for such a long post. meaningless as it seems, i contemplated deleting quite allot of it. But i thought for ONCE, id not do that, and leave u guys with fillers. lol.

cya.

ps-i just editted some stuff out. toolong.

one liners..

.. are more for me than for you.

R to the A to the G to the H

superextremefrustrationizations. RAGHHHHHHHHH!!!


but friends to complain to helps.


:)
blessed,
mike

4.30am. crows are asleep. and so are the bats.

screwed

eat some pods and drink some juice
find the butcher and kill the goose.
slap your face with a rotten trout
until u wish ud rather had gout.
roses are red, voilets are blue?
Asians are redder, and mountains are blue!
tickle your toes and touch your nose?
u dirty little fiend, ill choke you with a hose!
michael! study, says dear mommy.
he'd rather clean his room and fill his tummy.

which he did.

the interlude

i have just received what seemed like a sliced of portion of Legolas' ear.
On it was "carved" a quote from Oscar Wilde, a writer i have heard of, yet never actually read any of his books. How? well, one of his books was on the shelf in the library. not A shelf. THE shelf. The one which has random books on display, or books they think its on demand.

How did i know this? Well, i wanted to borrow a book "children on demand" which discusses Children ON DEMAND, in todays context- ivf, and i guess adoption too. Did i get the book? nup.. why? because there were 2 copies, and 1 was in the glass shelf.
What random thoughts crossed my mind as i walked pass that taunting book everyday?
1-Smash glass --> grab book --> run
2-Tip shelf --> grab book ---> run
3-Go to national library n borrow book-->........--> smash glass..
4-trip fire alarm---> smash glass
5-get friend to smash glasss
6-glass
7-smash
8-give up

aha.. u see ive adopted a self Q&A style kinda writing. Im sure some of my read-ismashuwithmyenglish- ers will know what its officially called but as far as im concerned its called "intelligentmonologing" AKA i.e. being a douche

Why do people like asking why?
"Im sad".. "why?"
"Im not feeling to well" "why?"
"I got fired" "why?"
"my life sucks." "why?"


-the common interlude-
Do not ask the question why. but ask who. For behind the why, there is a who who willed the why..therefore it is that who whom you should be searching for, for the why never ceases and thus leading to confusion; then despair. The mind is ever searching for answers. It is innate. And one who says "i do not care for questions, i only live life as it comes" is but a fool whose lies affect no one but him/herself. whose excuse is bigger than himself; procrastination at its finest.Mike mode*on*
Ssup?! if u like more post that are like such, with insight of what goes on behind this masquerade of retadism. Press 1 or vote on the poll to the left.
If ud prefer mindless post with maximum entertainment value, press 2 or vote in the poll to the left.
If u hate me, press 1278943912749012039875-183205102738957123975109823561087926342317895612897365981723649781263487162387461298734681723648912364981726349871263498712639874162987356187234.
and say "me likey unicorns"

Read "the common interlude" more than once.U never know, it might just be more than a pitiful attempt to falsely mimic intelligence and maturity by inflicting maximum confusion in writing.

enjoy :p

BTW I AM SUPER GRATEFUL FOR THAT CHOPPED OF EARR!!! IT WORKS GREAT AS A BOOKMARK! esp when i just toss it in. tell U more later. ^-^ THANKA! <-- its japanese for thanks

The blogging trilogy: The Return of the Blogger.

DUm dum dum dummmmm dummmmm DumDumDum dummm dummm DumDumDum dummm dummm DumDumDum dummm dummmmmmm....

no i am not retarded. That is the star wars song. read it with the correct tempo.

hey dudes and dudets.. guys and gals.. alcoholics and homos...machines and vertically challenged jabbawabbas.. welcome to the beginning of what will go down in hearts as the most significant days of our lives..
*starts the 25min blogging timer*

Before i begin pouring my soul onto this electronic parchment, i would like to apologize. im sorry i didnt reply ur emails and smses and msn msges.. i didnt keep u guys up to speed with whats going on.. i mean, after all, u did carry me in your womb for 9 months.. oh wait.. thats my mom...
what'd u guys ever do? ... -_-...


...BESIDES BEING THE AWESOMEST FRIENDS EVER! :o O M G..

lol.. anyway, ill just random today...

Random 1: Chinese ARE humans.
The day after olympics, i was watching morning news with my housemates as usual. The australian atheletes were getting a warm welcome back from Beijing. And at the end of the story, the newscaster said something like this:
"After being in beijing and being a witness to this great olympics, we see that people in China are very much like us, Humans- who just love their atheletes and children."

i was pretty amused by that but at the same time, shocked that someone could actually make such a comment on national tv, giving the impression that before this, they had the presumption that people from China are heartless non-humans.
Ignorant Ozzie or just 1 retarded newscaster?


Random 2: Suicidal Tendencies
When it comes to assignments, i have suicidal tendencies. a brief overview of my timetable would be Assignments due, then Group project due the following week, and then exams the following week. This would explain my absence and busyness. But suicidal.. what about that? well.. no.1 - My assignment was to do a research on a this smoking cessation drug, which when taken, have been said to cause suicidal thoughts. Funny isnt it?
"I want to stop smoking.............. and kill myself"
Some people have also complain of weird dreams..
"I want to stop smoking................ because in my dream.. i was talking to Jessica Alba...i thought she was hot.... UNTIL SUDDENLY,SHE TURNED INTO A GIGANTIC RUSTY CAN OF CAMPBELL SOUP AND STARTED SLASHING ALL MY HEDGES!! SHE TRIMMED IT SO WELL THAT MY HEDGES WAS IN A SHAPE OF WHAT LOOKED LIKE A CROSSBREED BETWEEN A GIRAFFE AND A HIPPOPOTAMUS- A GIRFOPOTAMUS! i wet myself. but it was coke!!! SO COOL! so i squeezed it into an icetray and made coke-flavoured konyaku jelly. Fed it to my pet slippers but she said she prefered eating dried avacado with cotton wools."

Im not making this up. THATS how weird dreams are... arent they?

Gifopotamus and its offspring.

(hey i cant remember my dreams 98% of the time. Cut me some slack.)

Anyway.. yea.. i rushed my assignments so last min that i can say with confidence, it is the worst assignment ill ever submit in my entire life. it was due at 9.00am. i submitted like at 9am. i wanted to die after that. It was so bad that i cringe at the thought of it.
sighh... oh and in my group projects, i was suppose to do some final editing.. it was due today, so i woke up at 6am this morning and saw some emails from my group members at 4.30am

"Ok. Looks very solid indeed. Well done guys... it has been a pleasure working with you *commits suicide*

night,
Ben"

and this wasnt the only emailing list going around

This group project involved so much profanity that it cracked me up. I abhor profanity. But it was in such a context that people were dying left and right. It was amusing. hahaha..


Random 3: I R CAVEMASTER
i need to disappear from the world into my cave for another week to study. Was just taking a break from all the crappy work i had to do. Btw when should i fly back to malaysia? any suggestions? (as in like, when u guys wanna go holiday! :p)
oh and if im lucky, aka God willing, u will get the next installment of this trilogy, A NEW HOPE.
if not ull get another post of me ranting about stabbing a fork through my pupils.