PTSD

PTSD from exam. keep thinking - why am I such a retard. And really, that keeps playing over and over. I didnt even felt I perform to my already sub-par level of knowledge. All that practice and studying, and then bam- poor performance. Almost feel like a one-and-done. Luckily this one is thrice-and-quite-possibly-maybe-re-sit-until-you-pass.

One more to go.. need to study hard or taste failure. Which is not the end of the world.

But recently, have been thinking of the year fiill with the unexpected "poo"storm of life.

Ok not recently. ALL. THE. TIME.

final stretch.

mind scattered. must...




edit; its late, and night is where one is weakest. If i studied harder, if i read polio or more of neuro, if I felt a lipoma, if i sticked to structure, If i was more like my other friend, triple, quadruple-thinking everything, erring on the side of caution.. things wouldve have turned out like this. Would the "band of brothers" (so-to-speak) remain? I wished it remained till the end when Christ returns or when we die. I guess we'll find out..