about leaving, i didnt get to say goodbye to most people, and i didnt get to see many others whom i wanted to. pretty silent leaving i would say.
Strange. With every subsequent year, I miss home & family more...it should be the opposite. in fact i barely missed home the 1st year. Maybe its because im not looking forward to the heaps of studying ahead. among other things. Oscar's moving out. Prob to my bro's new place. Tai kor's possibly changing jobs and migrating again. Mom's getting a new car.
i dont know why i have this perpetual uneasy feeling....
2010. another year.
cant believe holiday's over so quickily.
Saturday, 27 February 2010
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
i hope i survive this month:
Dec
9-12 Colmar, Bukit Tinggi - with parents
13-17 KK, Sabah - diving
18 Xmas practice
19 Xmas event
20-22 Youth camp
Disappearing act begins.
i did not imagine my dec to be like this, but im glad i didnt blow the 1st 9 days i was back, regardless of how full on it was.
i wish i had met up with more people more times :\
Dec
9-12 Colmar, Bukit Tinggi - with parents
13-17 KK, Sabah - diving
18 Xmas practice
19 Xmas event
20-22 Youth camp
Disappearing act begins.
i did not imagine my dec to be like this, but im glad i didnt blow the 1st 9 days i was back, regardless of how full on it was.
i wish i had met up with more people more times :\
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
time directs?
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
quite an old song...
coming home 28th Nov! SEE Y'ALL SOON
ps- n im sad i didnt get my JMayer tickets.. sold out within 4 minutes.. if only i knew earlier.. sigh..
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
quite an old song...
coming home 28th Nov! SEE Y'ALL SOON
ps- n im sad i didnt get my JMayer tickets.. sold out within 4 minutes.. if only i knew earlier.. sigh..
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Its easy to love people you like... but loving people who you dislike isnt.
it really stirs me up to hear about people who bad mouthing/conjuring lies about me behind my back.
But in light of the forgiveness i have received, i can only respond by forgiving. not easy- but its a struggle thats worth it. as much as i don't want too.
1 more darn course and im home free. cant wait.
it really stirs me up to hear about people who bad mouthing/conjuring lies about me behind my back.
But in light of the forgiveness i have received, i can only respond by forgiving. not easy- but its a struggle thats worth it. as much as i don't want too.
1 more darn course and im home free. cant wait.
Facebook status update which i thought was a keeper
Ivan Chow a false life denies Jesus as much as false doctrine (Titus 1:16)
Saturday, 12 September 2009
heartbreak hill
"Heartbreak" manifested as a queasy stomach upset.
and a potent anorexiegnic agent. (not really potent..i was feeling stomach weirdness b4.. and i ate after..haha :p)
For a brief moment i felt a little pinch very similar to the heartaches ive long since forgotten. The zoning out, the lack of thought-control and the loss of ability to concentrate. I tried to brush it off- "this is silly" says me. "i should be happy and excited!"
it was a mixed feeling.. and thoughts kept creeping in.. the "what if's" and the "regrets".. the moody feeling sets in... didnt feel like doing much :|
pseudo-"heartbreak"... something very alike the real one, but less severe.. "how did it get to that?" i wondered.
"what now? oh no.."
And i thought immediately that all i needed was sleep to recover.. its just 1 of those rougher days. Sleep cures all.
But thank God for a person, my sister in Christ, to whom i asked to comment on this internal conflict i had in me. I also asked her about something that was rather personal to her i guess.. and it really amazed me- the answer she gave.. the things the shared.
Such maturity from a new christian, really puts me to shame! after such a long time of me being Christian, how much of my thoughts are Christ'- and others'-centered?
Such profound principles, condensed in 10 minutes- only possible with like-mindedness and prior knowledge- everything i learnt about relationships (in camp especially) seemed to be jolted back to my head. I needed that.
The decisions that she made- i respect her for that. I have never seen such maturity from young Christians in my life, how God has changed the way she thinks, the way she interacts with people, the way she acts- her whole life turned around- to now seek to honor Him.
We may think we're living pretty good lives, but God who is the author of life knows the best way for us to live. What she told me, even I as a christian for such a long time, only learnt recently...
Thinking of relationships when all i think of is myself and what i like/want... reverting to the selfish thoughts. Can i really love someone as Christ love the church? When is the right time? When will I be ready?
The spirit convicts me- in a 10 minute conversation. The brief moment, i learn to see how much i lack. How i feel...the desire i sometimes long for companionship... pales in comparison to how much thought is put into consideration in christian relationships. and above all, how my life, my decisions and actions pleases God.
when thinking of relationships, to think of the other person, to truly put them above urself as the priority, to value their christian growth, to think of the best way they can grow and not be a hindrance- isnt natural.
This is not something a normal person would think, for a normal person thinks (a dulled-down version) "She seems nice, i like her- maybe i should ask her out". This is normal.
to put others above yourself..Not just anybody in particular, but particularly, everybody! This isnt normal.
to ask "Is this pleasing to you God? " for the way you live and saying "if not, i shoudnt do it", isnt something natural. I know in my heart what i think, i know what motives i have and what reasons i give myself for the decisions i make, be it studying, scoring well, talking to people, having meals, anything.
and even if i may not know exactly what motives i have for everything, i know that honoring God isnt my first pathway of thought.
the stomach-upset heartbreak... has reminded me of how shallow, immature and sinful i am..
sure the "what ifs" linger, but i am not worried at all.. (bit envious maybe :p)
We celebrated with food soon after. Its all good nigga! I thank God, for encouraging brothers and sisters in Christ. :)
what a great way to celebrate post exams! with another lesson.
Cor 6:19b-20: "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God..."
now i wonder who else besides u regular readers read my blog. no one else i hope. and if u are reading, remember, dont link me on ur blogpage, and keep it a secret from every soul u know. coz the less people who reads my blog, the more i can actually blog about. unless my name is K C KOK. haha! jk case.
ps- the background to this story is quite retarded- may tell u when i see yall in awhile!
and a potent anorexiegnic agent. (not really potent..i was feeling stomach weirdness b4.. and i ate after..haha :p)
For a brief moment i felt a little pinch very similar to the heartaches ive long since forgotten. The zoning out, the lack of thought-control and the loss of ability to concentrate. I tried to brush it off- "this is silly" says me. "i should be happy and excited!"
it was a mixed feeling.. and thoughts kept creeping in.. the "what if's" and the "regrets".. the moody feeling sets in... didnt feel like doing much :|
pseudo-"heartbreak"... something very alike the real one, but less severe.. "how did it get to that?" i wondered.
"what now? oh no.."
And i thought immediately that all i needed was sleep to recover.. its just 1 of those rougher days. Sleep cures all.
But thank God for a person, my sister in Christ, to whom i asked to comment on this internal conflict i had in me. I also asked her about something that was rather personal to her i guess.. and it really amazed me- the answer she gave.. the things the shared.
Such maturity from a new christian, really puts me to shame! after such a long time of me being Christian, how much of my thoughts are Christ'- and others'-centered?
Such profound principles, condensed in 10 minutes- only possible with like-mindedness and prior knowledge- everything i learnt about relationships (in camp especially) seemed to be jolted back to my head. I needed that.
The decisions that she made- i respect her for that. I have never seen such maturity from young Christians in my life, how God has changed the way she thinks, the way she interacts with people, the way she acts- her whole life turned around- to now seek to honor Him.
We may think we're living pretty good lives, but God who is the author of life knows the best way for us to live. What she told me, even I as a christian for such a long time, only learnt recently...
Thinking of relationships when all i think of is myself and what i like/want... reverting to the selfish thoughts. Can i really love someone as Christ love the church? When is the right time? When will I be ready?
The spirit convicts me- in a 10 minute conversation. The brief moment, i learn to see how much i lack. How i feel...the desire i sometimes long for companionship... pales in comparison to how much thought is put into consideration in christian relationships. and above all, how my life, my decisions and actions pleases God.
when thinking of relationships, to think of the other person, to truly put them above urself as the priority, to value their christian growth, to think of the best way they can grow and not be a hindrance- isnt natural.
This is not something a normal person would think, for a normal person thinks (a dulled-down version) "She seems nice, i like her- maybe i should ask her out". This is normal.
to put others above yourself..Not just anybody in particular, but particularly, everybody! This isnt normal.
to ask "Is this pleasing to you God? " for the way you live and saying "if not, i shoudnt do it", isnt something natural. I know in my heart what i think, i know what motives i have and what reasons i give myself for the decisions i make, be it studying, scoring well, talking to people, having meals, anything.
and even if i may not know exactly what motives i have for everything, i know that honoring God isnt my first pathway of thought.
the stomach-upset heartbreak... has reminded me of how shallow, immature and sinful i am..
sure the "what ifs" linger, but i am not worried at all.. (bit envious maybe :p)
We celebrated with food soon after. Its all good nigga! I thank God, for encouraging brothers and sisters in Christ. :)
what a great way to celebrate post exams! with another lesson.
Cor 6:19b-20: "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God..."
now i wonder who else besides u regular readers read my blog. no one else i hope. and if u are reading, remember, dont link me on ur blogpage, and keep it a secret from every soul u know. coz the less people who reads my blog, the more i can actually blog about. unless my name is K C KOK. haha! jk case.
ps- the background to this story is quite retarded- may tell u when i see yall in awhile!
Monday, 7 September 2009
back to back
"Residents, on the other hand, had filed a police report to say that the parade of the cow’s head was meant to be a symbol of the “stupidity of the government”, and was not meant as a religious insult to the Hindus.
The fear of stoking religious sentiments led to the Malaysian Communication and Multimedia Commission (MCMC) directing news portal, Malaysiakini, to remove footage and videos on the cow’s head protest from its website immediately following numerous public complaints.
Last week, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said that he left it to the AG to determine if there were any violations of law when the residents staged the protest."
3 stupids back to back
1. So their saying that a cow's head symbolizes the government? or stupidity? surely, thats why the COW's head was chosen.
2. Because the public HATES evidence of offense. the public HATES justice.
3. What a p4nsy. As if something so simple cant be determined if it was against the law. Please, even if u dont wanna touch sensitive issues, gathering illegally is considered breaking the law. So is protesting and threatening and challenging and disrupting meetings etc. what a p4n5y
taken from thestar:
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/9/7/nation/20090907191126&sec=nation
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