Its easy to love people you like... but loving people who you dislike isnt.

it really stirs me up to hear about people who bad mouthing/conjuring lies about me behind my back.

But in light of the forgiveness i have received, i can only respond by forgiving. not easy- but its a struggle thats worth it. as much as i don't want too.





1 more darn course and im home free. cant wait.

Facebook status update which i thought was a keeper

Ivan Chow a false life denies Jesus as much as false doctrine (Titus 1:16)

heartbreak hill

"Heartbreak" manifested as a queasy stomach upset.

and a potent anorexiegnic agent. (not really potent..i was feeling stomach weirdness b4.. and i ate after..haha :p)



For a brief moment i felt a little pinch very similar to the heartaches ive long since forgotten. The zoning out, the lack of thought-control and the loss of ability to concentrate. I tried to brush it off- "this is silly" says me. "i should be happy and excited!"
it was a mixed feeling.. and thoughts kept creeping in.. the "what if's" and the "regrets".. the moody feeling sets in... didnt feel like doing much :|

pseudo-"heartbreak"... something very alike the real one, but less severe.. "how did it get to that?" i wondered.
"what now? oh no.."

And i thought immediately that all i needed was sleep to recover.. its just 1 of those rougher days. Sleep cures all.

But thank God for a person, my sister in Christ, to whom i asked to comment on this internal conflict i had in me. I also asked her about something that was rather personal to her i guess.. and it really amazed me- the answer she gave.. the things the shared.
Such maturity from a new christian, really puts me to shame! after such a long time of me being Christian, how much of my thoughts are Christ'- and others'-centered?

Such profound principles, condensed in 10 minutes- only possible with like-mindedness and prior knowledge- everything i learnt about relationships (in camp especially) seemed to be jolted back to my head. I needed that.

The decisions that she made- i respect her for that. I have never seen such maturity from young Christians in my life, how God has changed the way she thinks, the way she interacts with people, the way she acts- her whole life turned around- to now seek to honor Him.
We may think we're living pretty good lives, but God who is the author of life knows the best way for us to live. What she told me, even I as a christian for such a long time, only learnt recently...

Thinking of relationships when all i think of is myself and what i like/want... reverting to the selfish thoughts. Can i really love someone as Christ love the church? When is the right time? When will I be ready?

The spirit convicts me- in a 10 minute conversation. The brief moment, i learn to see how much i lack. How i feel...the desire i sometimes long for companionship... pales in comparison to how much thought is put into consideration in christian relationships. and above all, how my life, my decisions and actions pleases God.

when thinking of relationships, to think of the other person, to truly put them above urself as the priority, to value their christian growth, to think of the best way they can grow and not be a hindrance- isnt natural.
This is not something a normal person would think, for a normal person thinks (a dulled-down version) "She seems nice, i like her- maybe i should ask her out". This is normal.

to put others above yourself..Not just anybody in particular, but particularly, everybody! This isnt normal.

to ask "Is this pleasing to you God? " for the way you live and saying "if not, i shoudnt do it", isnt something natural. I know in my heart what i think, i know what motives i have and what reasons i give myself for the decisions i make, be it studying, scoring well, talking to people, having meals, anything.
and even if i may not know exactly what motives i have for everything, i know that honoring God isnt my first pathway of thought.

the stomach-upset heartbreak... has reminded me of how shallow, immature and sinful i am..
sure the "what ifs" linger, but i am not worried at all.. (bit envious maybe :p)

We celebrated with food soon after. Its all good nigga! I thank God, for encouraging brothers and sisters in Christ. :)

what a great way to celebrate post exams! with another lesson.


Cor 6:19b-20: "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God..."


now i wonder who else besides u regular readers read my blog. no one else i hope. and if u are reading, remember, dont link me on ur blogpage, and keep it a secret from every soul u know. coz the less people who reads my blog, the more i can actually blog about. unless my name is K C KOK. haha! jk case.


ps- the background to this story is quite retarded- may tell u when i see yall in awhile!

back to back

"Residents, on the other hand, had filed a police report to say that the parade of the cow’s head was meant to be a symbol of the “stupidity of the government”, and was not meant as a religious insult to the Hindus.

The fear of stoking religious sentiments led to the Malaysian Communication and Multimedia Commission (MCMC) directing news portal, Malaysiakini, to remove footage and videos on the cow’s head protest from its website immediately following numerous public complaints.

Last week, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said that he left it to the AG to determine if there were any violations of law when the residents staged the protest."

3 stupids back to back

1. So their saying that a cow's head symbolizes the government? or stupidity? surely, thats why the COW's head was chosen.

2. Because the public HATES evidence of offense. the public HATES justice.

3. What a p4nsy. As if something so simple cant be determined if it was against the law. Please, even if u dont wanna touch sensitive issues, gathering illegally is considered breaking the law. So is protesting and threatening and challenging and disrupting meetings etc. what a p4n5y

taken from thestar:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/9/7/nation/20090907191126&sec=nation

when a kungfu character finally "unlocks his full power" but still suck, thats how i feel.

my thumb is crap. :(

lately ive been seeing allot of catchy "witty" 1 liners on msn personal msg and facebook like. coincidence seems to be the root behind this flurry of "wise" sayings.

"there is always a gain in every sacrifice made"

"God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind"



i wonder if people really believe what they put up... not being cynical, and i am not, but do consider if these theories even hold.

always a gain... (? hah.)
to what extent is this gain compared to the sacrifice? is this not the half full-half empty cup stretched further even? the cup is both half full and half empty- inability to see it both, or maybe the refusal to see both views, results in a then distorted view of the entire situation.. right?
both views, after all, are true- are they not?
can u imagine a person who has a perpetual half-full mentality- from birth?
and i dont prefer a persistant pessimist either.


"there is always a gain in every sacrifice made". i really scoffed when i saw this. i was annoyed even.
if hypothetically, i had a sister.. and we were walking by the roadside. and a car stops nearby and some guys drags her into the car. Without thinking thoroughly,only with flashing thoughts of pkidnap and rape, purely reflex action, I jump into the car to try to stop them. One of them pushes me out of the car and i get hit by oncoming traffic and die. and she?

i remind you, hypothetical:
I sacrificed. where is the gain?

Now another scenario:
A suicide bomber sacrifices himself for the cause, there is gain for his side. Victorious and glorious gain. His side celebrates.

gain isnt always good.

are these examples too extreme?

A guy dumps a girl who he's been dating for 6 years. Sacrifices were definately made in the duration of the relationship, on both sides, commonly, one more than the other. The girls now 31.
Where then is the gain?
"they both learnt something"
yeah..learnt the existance of selfishness and an emotion called sorrow.
and of courses other things too.
Gain: "Growing through the pain" they say- but do the gains justify the sacrifices?

Still too extreme?


I throw a superball (those small bouncy balls) from the 10th floor as an experiment. I am willing to sacrifice it to test the bouncability (:p) of the ball. It hits a darn small rock which changes its trajectory and it flies to some strange unknown location.
Gain : Dont do stupid experiments, dont waste kickass toys like superballs. but no experimental results.
loss : funz toiyz


"God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind"

too good to be unkind? is that possible?
wonder what do u guys think...




i think.. ive been abit disappointed lately with so many things.. including myself.




Rom 8:28
"²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

"all things..works for the good.."

If your parents hit you to discipline you, would you say "oh so thats so kind of you. hit somemore, show me your kindness"?

but u know its out of love and concern that they do that. It is for. your. good.
Because parents who dont discipline their child (however the methods) dont love their child. Indifferent parents.

Likewise, God disciplines us. But that doesnt mean you are not held responsible for the wrong doing and in angering them. U are deserving of it, or more even.



God IS good. and above that, He loves us, thats why he sent Jesus in the first place. Else, why bother?


God is omniscient. mistaken? never.
God is love. through Christ, the preserver.
underserving- the hopeless receiver,
of mercy, grace, from the woodcarver
forever.
woodcarver- lol.
skydiver
pendriveR..

its 4am. incoherrant.

guys- correct my thinking.

sorry peeps

for not posting in awhile.. and more so for not wishing u happy birthdays properly on my blog.
sigh. catch up with u guys some time soon..


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